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 Creepypasta Parody "Evil Zelda"

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Heizengard
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Join date : 2013-10-31
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PostSubject: Creepypasta Parody "Evil Zelda"   Sun Feb 09, 2014 12:27 pm

I wrote this a while ago and had posted it to DTR so I thought I might post it here. This was made in good fun.



In order to get this you have to know what a creepypasta is and have played The Legend of Zelda before. I read a lot of creepypasta’s and even review them so I made a creepypasta poking fun at a lot of the bad ones and the cliches in creepypastas. Any spelling error was done intentionally and so are any of the plot holes. It wouldn’t be a bad one without any of that. Anyway I would love some feed back and hope you enjoy it.

Hello everyone my name is Tim and I’m here to tell you about a most horrible experience…
Now I’m a big fan of The Legend of Zelda, much like everyone else. I have played every Zelda game (including the BS Zelda and the horrible CD-i games) and love each one the same, but I have always preferred the classics. Most notably, The Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time and Majoras Mask for the Nintendo 64. Anyway one day I thought I would marathon OoT (Ocarina of Time for those of you who don’t know) and MM (Majoras Mask), but it turned out that I had sold my old Nintendo 64 with OoT (Ocarina of Time) and Majoras Mask. Needless to say, I was depressed. Anyway my friend, Lyle, told me about an old game shop that sells old and new games that just opened near by and I was like awesome!!!!!! Anyways I left my house the next day and walked over to that new game shop. Even though the place was new the building looked worn down and old, like it would collapse if you looked at it that wrong way. There was no one in the shop either, not even anyone at the counter. I went in and looked around and to my dismay, they didn’t have Ocarina of Time or Majoras Mask. I was depressed even more. I was hoping that this would be the best day of my life! As I turned around I saw a creepy looking old man behind me, smiling. He must have worked there since he was wearing a uniform for the store. He kept looking at me, smiling. Since I saw that he was someone who worked there I figured that I should ask him if they have any copies in the back.

“Hello sir. Do you hap-“ And then I saw it. In his hands was a copy of The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time! And it was a gold cartridge to boot!
“Looking for this?” The old man spoke up and said to me.
“Yes it is! How did you know?” I replied.
He didn’t answer and just smiled. I asked him how much for it and he told me I could have it for free. I must have been the happiest man alive as I walked out of the store that day.

…If only I knew and had gone with my gut feeling.

Once I got home I ran up to my room to start playing the game right away! But then I remembered that I had sold my Nintendo 64. Again I was depressed. As I walked down to the kitchen, crying, I heard a knock on my door, though I ignored it and got my drink, ready for my pity party. As I went up stairs to play my Linkin Park CD I heard the knock again, but louder. I ignored it. This kept on for an hour straight. Geez, can’t this guy get the picture? I want to be left alone! After hearing the knock on my door for the hundredth time today, I yelled ok already and went to open the front door. When I opened it I saw that no one was there. Now I was really annoyed! I went to close the door when I saw a package at my doorstep. It was addressed to me, though there was no return address. Now that’s odd… I don’t remember ordering anything. I brought the package inside and opened it up. Inside was an unopened Nintendo 64 console with an expansion pack and two controllers! This really was the best day ever! I ran up stairs and plugged the AV cables into my TV and plugged the power cord into an outlet. Making sure my TV was plugged in, I turned it on. I plugged in a controller and put in the cartridge, though when I turned on the power by hitting the switch nothing came up. I remembered a point in my childhood where this happened. I was told to blow into the cartridge and try again. Making sure I turned off the console I took out the cartridge and blew into it. I put it back into the console and hit the switch. It worked!

The game started up like normal with the Nintendo logo popping up on screen before going to the title screen. Once there I noticed that music was playing backwards and sounded glitchey and that the title screen was gliched up to. I sighed and turned the system off. I took out the cartridge and remembered that I have to blow on into it again. I did that, put it back in and turned on the game.
The game started up normally and with the Nintendo logo popping up like last time and the title screen was correct show what it normally shows, Link riding Epona across Hyrule Fields with that nostalgic song plying in the background. When I pressed start though I heard Ganondorf (the main villain of the game) laugh, though I thought nothing of it thinking it was just a glitch. I brought me to the select file screen, but there was no music playing. It turns out that this was a used game belonging to someone named Ben, though since I have no interest in other people files I deleted them both and started an new game, naming my character Link.

Once the game started I noticed that the introduction cutscene was missing (you know, the one where The Great Deku Tree narrates and tells Navi to go to you), but the scene where Navi shows up was still there. Ugh. How I hate Navi. She’s so much more annoying then Fi from The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword! But instead of saying what she usually says it was just a bunch of glitched text. Anyway Link got up and I was ready to start playing! I left Link’s house, but instead of being in The Kokiri Forest (That’s where you start out in case you didn’t know) I was in Termina!? But that’s not in Ocarina of Time! That’s in Majoras Mask! But Termina looked a little… odd. I didn’t have a clock telling me how many days I have left at the bottom of the screen and the moon was missing. Also the sky looked like how it looks on the third day and it was nighttime. The music was The Final Hours and The Song of Healing playing backwards at the same time. I ran around Termina for a bit and tried to enter Milk Road, but it was blocked by an unbreakable rock (the one that blocks Romani Ranch). I could open it if I had a powder keg, but I didn’t. I checked the other places to and the same thing as with Milk Road happened each time. The only place I didn’t check was Clock Town and to my surprise, it wasn’t blocked! I entered Clock Town and this is where it got weird. Everyone but the guards at the entrances was killed in rather gruesome ways. I was starting to get scared a little. I tried to leave, but the guards said what they always say when you try to leave as a Deku Scrub.

Since I was stuck in Clock Town I decided to check the place out, though I couldn’t enter any buildings or examine the bodies. Once I made it to east Clock Town I tried to enter the mayors house and it worked! But instead of entering the house I was in that creepy Bottom of the Well level from Ocarina of Time. “Well at least it’s Ocarina of Time” I thought to myself, though the music was a 16 bit version of His World from Sonic 06 slowed down and in reverse. It was kind of eerie. Anyways I walked down the pathway a bit further, but then my character stopped moving. I tried every button on the controller, but nothing worked. That means this must be a cutscene!

Suddenly Link was attacked by Shadow the Hedgehog! But Shadow looked a bit weird. His Eyes were black and red and bleeding blood from them. He kept attacking me and said “your not good enough to be my fake!” (a line he says before you fight him in Sonic Adventure 2) each time he hit me. I gained control of Link again and started to attack him. After a while I managed to beat him, but something odd happened. Shadow spoke! Not in a text box but spoke and he was looking right at me! Not at Link, but at me, Tim! While looking at me he said “you should have never got this game!” before bursting into fire and melting into a pile of hyperealistic blood and gore. I was scared now. How did Shadow know? He’s not real, he’s a video game character! As I went a bit further into the well I heard a familiar laugh. It was the horrible Kefca laugh from Final Fantasy 6.
I made it to the end of the Well, but it was a dead end. I was forced to backtrack to the entrance to leave. As I was leaving something flashed on screen for about 3 seconds. It looked like a picture of Zelda, but her eyes were black with red dots and had blood dripping from them and she had this horrible, evil smile on her face. She was standing over someones body, but I couldn’t make who it was. The body was lying in a pool of blood and Zelda had blood on her dress and was holding a knife that was driping with blood. I could SWARE she was looking at me! I exited the Well, but the game froze for about 36.7 seconds before the screen faded to black. A text box popped up saying:
“Make this fun for me”
I was taken to Kokiri Forest, but everyone was dead and lying in a pool of blood and the forest was on fire. “Noooo!” I shouted at my TV screen on the verge of tears. They were just children. Who could have done all this!? But then I thought “What about Saria!? Is she ok!?” I ran around the forest looking for her. After about 5 minutes of searching I finally found her, but I was to late. She was hanging from her house, impaled through her chest. Dead. Murdered. I started to cry. Who could have done something so horrible!? I turned around and saw him. I saw a 64 bit version of Ghirahim. But that’s odd. Ghirahim was from The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword! How was he in Ocarina of Time!? Then I realized that this must be a hacked game! I mean it all makes sense now! Termina and Clock Town weren’t in Ocarina of Time. There was no blood either! And Ghirahim is the icing on this evil twisted cake! This has to be a hack! Wow, playing all that Phoenix Wright Paid off!
In tears I tried to attack Ghirahim, but I couldn’t put in any input, meaning that this was another cutscene. A text box showed up saying:

“Make this fun for me Tim!”

How did it know my name!? It’s just a game I kept saying to myself, feeling my bowels beginning to expel. I screamed at the TV “Why did you do this!?” But since it’s just a game it didn’t reply to me. I noticed that I gained control back and tried to attack Ghirahim, but to no avail! He grabbed the tip of my sword and flung it from my hands! “Nooooooooo!” I shouted out loud! Ghirahim picked it up and started swinging it at me, like how he does in Skyward Sword when you fight him the first time. Not being able to fight back he swung the sword at me taking out all my hearts. Link let out a blood curdling scream, or maybe it was just me since I was screaming too, I couldn’t tell. Anyway instead of it saying Game Over (like it usually does) The game faded to black for about 12.8 seconds and then I heard a giggle and a text box saying:
“Are you having fun?”
“No game I am not having fun!!!” I yelled on the verge of crying and holding back my bowels from spilling forth. The game started back up and this time I was in the Temple of Time (the place where you get the master sword), but something was odd. I was in the chamber where you get the Master Sword, but the sword was gone and the door leading out of the room was closed. The music was different to. It was the Lavender Town theme from Pokemon, but in reverse and sped up a bit. I walked around, looking for a place to leave, but to no avail there was none. “Now what do I do? Did I beat it? Is it finally over?” I said aloud.

…But it wasn’t over just yet.

Suddenly the music stopped and the room got darker. Then that suspenseful drowning jingle from Sonic the Hedgehog started to play and a shadow appeared under Link (meaning that a wall master was going to get you). I tried to escape it, but couldn’t. The wallmaster grabbed Link and I jumped and yelped like a little lap dog. It made the noise it usually makes and then brought me to Death Mountain. I also a 666 rupees on me. Another odd thing was Links tunic: It was black with a red line across the chest area. Also Links eyes looked dead. There was no music playing either. This had to be the strangest thing so far! I mean you can’t hold more the 500 rupees at a time! I had regained control of Link and started to move toward the Goron City, believing, hoping that someone there could help me… but I was wrong. When I got there it was empty, like when you first go there as an adult and Volvagia had kidnaped them. I tried to leave, but when ever I did a text box popped up saying:

“No. Not yet. He he…”

“Please game! Stop tormenting me!” I shouted at the screen scared out of my wits at this message. I kept trying to leave about 53 times before I gave up and explored Goron City. Everything looked normal, but I sware Link was being watched. I walked into Darmani’s room and saw… Princess Zelda!? But she’s not supposed to be here! She had her back turned to me and as I walked up to her I began to feel uneasy. It was too late though because I lost control of Link and had to watch him walk up to her. The courtyard music that plays when you first met her started to play, but slowed down bit after bit. She turned around and opened her eyes and I heard a shriek when they opened. Her eyes were black with red dots and had blood dripping from them. She was staring RIGHT AT ME! Not Link but ME! I could no longer hold my bowls back as I expelled all the fecal matter I had saved up. The game sat there for a good 59.9 seconds before a text box popped up saying:

“I found you!”

Link made the scream he makes when he gets sent flying and the game started up again, this time in the Hyrule Castle courtyard. I paused the game though so I could get a fresh pair of underpants and put them on. I had to throw out the pair I was wearing, as well as my pants.

…I shouldn’t have paused the game.

When I went back I was in shock! I saw what Link looked like. He looked sad… He had these sad eyes and his shoulders were hunched over. His head was also looking down. I started to cry, but saw that I had ran out of tissues. I felt so bad for Link. All this torment that was happening to him and me just made me cry more and more.

I unpaused the game and saw something strange. The grass in the courtyard was withered and brown and the flowers were dead. The normal blue sky was a dark red too and the clouds were black and stormy looking. The water was also a deep red color, which looked a lot like blood. And standing right there was… Malon from Lon Lon Ranch!? What is she doing here!? I tried to run up to her, but the game wouldn’t let me. All I could do was stand there a watch as that evil Princess Zelda walked up to Malon and gruesomely killed her with her bare hands. She thrust one of her hands into her chest and pulled out her heart. I felt so bad for her, having to die like this and all I could too was watch. I’m not going to lie, I cried a little… Okay I cried a lot. After that a geyser of hypereailistic blood poured out from her body and I heard a loud scream for about 31 seconds before she fell to the ground. Lifeless. Dead. Murdered. After that Zelda looked at Link and slowly walked up to him, giggling. All I could do was stand there and watch. Once she got up to him she said something in a text box:

“It’s been fun”

Then she grabbed Navi with her hand and crushed her! “Nooooooooooo!” I shouted. “How could she kill Navi!?” I had started to cry. Why did she have to kill Navi!? She was always my favorite fairy… After crying I decided to turn off the game and take a nap to calm myself down.

…I really wish I didn’t do that.

I had a nightmare where Saria, Malon and Navi were asking me to help them. To save them from Zelda. Then that evil Princess showed up and killed them. Then she started talking to me. “Are you having fun Tim? So far your lasting longer then Lyle did.” Lyle!? You mean my best friend Lyle!? Why would she know about him!? “Anyway I’m having too much fun with you, so why don’t you wake up and play the game again, hm?” Then she grabbed a hold of my head and started shrieking before she pulled it off and I woke up.

I was in a cold sweat. I didn’t want to keep playing, but I was scared of what she would do to me if I didn’t. I turned on my Nintendo 64 and started playing again.

It was strange. Even though I never saved my game before shutting it off, I didn’t start from the beginning. It started where I left off. This time I was in Gerudo Valley, except the place was covered in blood and everyone was dead. Also it was night. I walked around a bit, but was limited to my options since every open area was closed off, except for the area where you get the Ice Arrows. Also the music was different. It was the Tittle Theme from Bioshock 2 in reverse. Since it was the only thing I could do, I entered the area. When I entered it, it made the sound it makes when you warp out from a dungeon.

The next area I was warped to was the area where you fight Ganon. The music that was playing was the Song of Healing, but it was in reverse. I moved Link to the center and that evil Princess’s face popped up for about 00.4 seconds. She still had black eyes with red dots in them and they were bleeding. After that Zelda popped up on screen with a screech. It made me scream out loud. After that I saw an explosion! Out from the explosion came out… Skull Kid!? And he was wearing Majora’s Mask! He laughed and then exploded into flames! “What’s going on!?” I shouted. “This is the strangest thing so far!” After that Majora’s Mask attached itself to Zelda’s face! Then a text box popped up showing only glitched text. After that Zelda/Majora laughed and made Link explode into a pile of Hyperealistic blood and gore and the game crashed.
I just sat there with a blank expression on my face for about 25 seconds before shutting it off. “It’s finally over…” I said with a sigh.

“…What over Tim?”

I screamed! It can’t be…. That sounded like… no! It’s impossible! I slowly turned around to see if my worst fears were right. Right behind me was a Princess Zelda plush toy with black eyes and red dots with blood dripping from them.

After that I got a letter from Lyle in the mail. I opened it and he told me the truth about the cartridge. He told me that he let a friend borrow it and that he tried to mod it using Gameshark, but unlocked something in its code. Apparently this was locked inside it and whatever Lyle’s friend did to it unlocked the cartridge. It’s hard to believe that Nintendo did something like this, but it’s true. He gave me the instructions on how to unlock it, but because I don’t want the same misfortune that happened to me to happen to you I won’t say how to unlock it. Oh and also this was Lyle’s game. He said that he traded it to that game store and I just happened to get it. And Lyle’s missing or something. They mentioned it on the news, but I couldn’t listen to it because Zelda wanted me to watch the Legend of Zelda cartoon. I no longer have free will. I tried to burn it, but I’m out of matches. She won’t let me buy any either. Anyway thank you for reading about this and I just hope no one else finds out the secret to unlocking it.

I hope you enjoyed it.
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Creepypasta Parody "Evil Zelda"

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